There is a concern I wish to share
And I hope you will take time and care
To make a note for future reference
As it concerns a particular vegetarian preference.

Please do realise I am doing you a favour
To put a stop to a rather ridiculous caper
I’m not being picky and I’m not being awkward
I just want facts laid out straight and forward

Is it really such an overwhelming feat
To understand that we don’t eat meat
I have to ask, and I have to say
Because all of the time restaurants say:

“As a veggie would you like our fish?”
… laid out dead all over your vegetable dish
I look in horror and with utter disbelief
As this person wants to taint my planty leaf

We don’t eat fish I say, a vegetarian rule
The eating of which is barbaric and cruel
With all that pollution and Omega-3 lies
It’s as vile as eating golden arch burger and fries

Vegetarians don’t eat fish I stress
Asking how restaurants get into this mess
They say we ask and they say we eat
Fishy, fish, fish once we’ve taken a seat.

It must be stressed that we don’t eat fish
Not ever, never, ever on our dish
Veggies they are not if asking for this life
To be slaughtered and gutted for their appetite.

Please note that this really is a fact
A pledge and an honour of the veggie pact
We don’t eat meat and we don’t eat fish
Not ever, not never, ever on our dish.

Copyright © Neil Hiatt 2007